A Simple NLP Technique for Building Rapport and Influence

Think about it… When you “like” someone, or you feel a connection with someone, you’ll likely be open, responsive, and will truly “listen” to what they have to say.  This is rapport.  When you are “in sync” or on the same wavelength as another person, and there’s a feeling of commonality between you, you have rapport.

With rapport comes influence.  And with influence (when used with integrity), comes great success.  So rapport is an extremely important thing to cultivate with the people you’re working with, partnering with, or selling products/services to.

So how do you build rapport?  Click play below to learn about an NLP technique that will help you build instant rapport and ultimately have greater influence with people in your business and your life…

Rapport is power.  Meet people where they are, see them for who they are, and lead.  This technique is very valuable, but again, it’s not to be overused or abused.  Be yourself, be authentic, and approach life and everyone you meet with an open heart… True rapport is really just about connection.


Any thoughts, comments, or feedback to share?

Hope this was of great value to you today!  I sure know how valuable it was for me when I first learned about this!  And if it was, please share it!  Tweet it, FB it…  and spread the word! Thank YOU!

To Your Unstoppable Success,
Katie Freiling

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{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }

Ryan Yokome September 6, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Hey Katie I was thinking about your post.

It’s funny when you become aware of these tactics and begin to notice other people using them, or even more on yourself!

It’s the funniest thing. Watch anything on Anthony Robbins and how to imitates people who are interviewing him on camera with his body language. 😉
Ryan Yokome´s last blog post ..Life Transformation Now Bonus Giveaway


Gerald Gigerl September 6, 2010 at 1:48 pm

Hey Katie,

you are offering again some amazing value to us. You will notice how powerful this conecpt is when you brought it to a conscious level.

A few days ago when I was sitting with a friend, and we had a funny conversation going on, we both tended to imitate eachother.That´s something that happens quite often, but mostly we aren´t aware of it!

Thanks for sharing and stay the way you are,



David Merrill September 6, 2010 at 4:09 pm

I think that if you TRULY learn to find value in others, you will reflect those same valuable qualities in your relationship with them.

Like you said, Katie, mirror… and mirror the best you can find, and just let yourself flow around any obstacles you encounter in the relationship.

Thanks for a most thought-provoking lesson, Katie. You always deliver!
David Merrill´s last blog post ..Tribe Mentoring Blogging Basics – Part 3


Chuck September 6, 2010 at 5:18 pm

As soon as I saw the title of this, I knew what it was about. I am not a psychic. You did not say where you learned it just that you learned it while ago but it was new to you. Now I learned it in 1998 by a fellow by the name of Anthony Robbins. Actually it was in his 450 page book Unlimited Power (1997) that I read. I even thought about it and NLP when watching you at the Tony Robbins event. Maybe you learned it there.

I remembered it since it appeared to be a powerful thing. Good for someone that you are trying to sell to or good for picking up women. But when I read it, I had to think about the ethics of it. I would not use it on a woman that I was interested in since I want a woman that likes me for me. Now I have to wonder what would happen if 2 people were trying to use it on each other.
Chuck´s last blog post ..Latest News- Breast Cancer Cured!


Chad Goehring September 6, 2010 at 6:15 pm

You used the phrase “in sync” with somebody. I thought that was a great way to describe this technique. What’s great is that the technique is rather natural for those who are genuine in their people skills. For those who tend to be “hunters” it is definitely a discipline.

For people who question the ethical nature of it, they should consider that there is no ethical issues with simply breaking through barriers and establish repport with someone. This is not a manipulation technique, it’s a “get them to talk to me” technique. Thanks Katie.
Chad Goehring´s last blog post ..Still think Social Media is a Fad


Wendy Hewlett September 6, 2010 at 10:03 pm

Whew … it took me close to an hour to scroll down to the end of the comments so I could leave one … LOL.
This video brings to mind how important knowledge is. I believe that AWARENESS is power and we become aware through gaining knowledge. Becoming conscious of something that we all do on a subconscious level gives us the power to use that knowledge or awareness to our benefit. But, like you said, it is not to be over used or abused.
I’m fascinated by NLP and will research it further to gain a better understanding of it.
Thanks for another excellent and informative post Katie.

Wendy Hewlett´s last blog post ..The 11 Forgotten Laws- 11 – The Law of Success


Steve Beisheim September 7, 2010 at 10:55 am

I think when we see people for who they genuinely are, there capacity for health and complete well being they recognize this and strive to meet your expectation.

Our capacity to be happy and to thrive is amazing. I’m very excited for more. Keeping a healthy diet for me, continues to build me onwards and upwards…
Steve Beisheim´s last blog post ..Raising your vibration through diet


Nate Holland September 7, 2010 at 3:45 pm

Great lesson there, Katie! It is indeed very important to have a good rapport with people. People want to feel as if you are one of them. Being “in sync” or on the same wavelength is a great way of putting it. There’s been many times when I have spent money with somebody, then when I had a conversation with them I could tell that they were in their own world and not the least bit interested in me. They weren’t at all interested in trying to connect with me, let alone trying to build any kind of rapport. Needless to say, I would never buy from them again. :)
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Tisa September 7, 2010 at 10:48 pm

Wow, that sounds like when Paul says I become all things 2 all ppl:)1Cor 9:22


Keith | Earn Passive Income At Home September 8, 2010 at 3:42 am

Hi Katie,

I first learnt about NLP and matching and mirroring at Tony Robbins’ Unleash The Power Within seminar back in 2004 in London, and I’ve been conscious of it ever since. My wife and I have both noticed that match and mirror each other frequently, although mostly on a sub conscious level.

Thanks for yet another great post Katie.



Gerald Gigerl September 10, 2010 at 4:15 am

Hy Katie,

you are bringing everything to a conscious level, so that you can change it right away. I observed this aspect in the last days and it really works!

Thank you for sharing your skills,

Gerald Gigerl´s last blog post ..Ideal Performace Part 1 – STOP Being A “Chicken”


Elizabeth September 10, 2010 at 1:18 pm

This was a great informational post. I’ve been watching your videos and posts in working on building a name for myself. I’m just starting out and am still trying to hone in on the niche that I want to start with, I know that’s the most important step! Thanks again for all your knowledge!


Luis September 10, 2010 at 2:34 pm

Hi Katie,

this wow post and a great lesson for me. I looking forward to keep learning the master like you
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Emily Giuffre September 11, 2010 at 4:14 pm

wow Katie! I have always loved connecting with people, but I guess I never really realized how much rapport it can build :) Great video!
Emily Giuffre´s last blog post ..The Secret to Overcoming Distractions


jennbeninger September 11, 2010 at 7:13 pm

Hi Katie,

What an amazing video! I have heard of this before, but the way you express it is fantastic!

It is a very successful tool and if you can create this mirroring and matching as a second nature your success is amazing!

Thank you as always for adding so much value to my life!

jennbeninger´s last blog post ..Hello FB Family! I wanted to share a cool free tool with you I needed to convert a file into a pdf and found this software online for free and I thought- there has to be people out there who need to do this too!! http-wwwcutepdfcom-products-cutepdf-writerasp


Gregory McGuire September 13, 2010 at 8:23 am

Hi Katie,

As a therapist, I use rapport-building techniques all the time (just try doing therapy with somebody who doesn’t like or trust you). As simple as it seems, mirroring and matching are 2 very potent ways of building rapport very quickly.

Thanks for all you do.

Gregory McGuire´s last blog post ..The Law of Attraction and Social Media


Therra September 14, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Natural, spontaneous, it has to come from the heart.
Meet people where they are – This is what it’s all about!



C.W September 15, 2010 at 3:29 am

This actually makes ALOT of sense! People are way more responsive and in tune to others that they first meet when each person is on the same “wavelength”. The best analogy I could think of for this are the “clicks” in high school; each group does its own thing, is involved in its own activities, talks & acts a certain way. I wasn’t really involved in any particular click myself, but I remember there were a few classes where teachers would group random people together for an assignment or project and very often I was partnered up with another person (or people) who I couldn’t relate to AT ALL so it ended up being pretty uncomfortable for awhile. Especially when you get partnered with someone from the “popular” crowd and all they want to do is turn around and have a convo with their buddies sitting in another group at the desks behind you to talk about the next football game or hangout session… not very productive or a good way to get to the know the person you’ve been partnered with :-p


Takara September 16, 2010 at 10:24 am

This was a great article because it is so TRUE! Rapport allows for a great Influence and trusting bond to be established.
Takara´s last blog post ..How do You Overcome Influences


Baker September 16, 2010 at 1:46 pm

Excellent technique, enjoyed reading this post. Now if there was a way we can mirror people with our writing online, now that would be awesome!


isa September 17, 2010 at 4:06 am

Hi Katie,

This really interesting. Thanks


Carlos M. September 17, 2010 at 11:13 pm

Great Video I agree Rapport is an extremely important thing to cultivate with the people, bussiness partners even for personal relationships 😀
Carlos M.´s last blog post ..Demi Lovato Tells Americas Next Top Models She Was Bullied


Lenore September 21, 2010 at 9:09 am

“Oh wow Katie, I had been noticing this happening in my life and wondered if there was a name for it….It deifnitely shows how human nature comes into play with us even realizing it. It so important to generate a positive energy so that what is reflected to the world is a benefit and not a hinderance.


Aki Wood September 22, 2010 at 1:42 pm

NLP rocks, killer stuff as always Katie. Does anyone know where I can find Chuck Norris?
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Ben Tien September 22, 2010 at 7:19 pm

Hi Katie,

I agree with you about rapport is power. Rapport is the reason why you feel comfortable and trust some and lack of rapport is why you would feel unease and skepticism with others.


Chuck Bluestein September 24, 2010 at 8:17 pm

Great Video I agree Rapport is an important thing to cultivate with bussiness partners
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Kantrese Smith September 25, 2010 at 10:27 pm

Hi Katie– Get Excited & Stay Excited!!

This was such an amazing message. I am working on producing some videos for my blog speaking on this technique. My prospecting coach has many of years of experience using NLO and uses NLP to prospect and I’ve been learning from him as well as through research. You are absolutely right when you say to mirror. This is something I do when I’m on the phone speaking with people. I am a very HIGH energy person (if you haven’t noticed) and quite often I meet people with lower energy or who talk slow and I will “match” them at the beginning of the conversation and as it progresses they end up matching my speed because as we build the rapport I help to “raise” the energy! :0) I love what you showed us! Your videos are always informative and of high quality. Thanks so much!

Blessings, Love & Light…
Kantrese “Tresie”
“Inspire. Encourage. Empower.”
Kantrese Smith´s last blog post ..Top 4 Ways to Use Video Email to Captivate Your Audience and Increase Your Leads


Jeanette September 27, 2010 at 1:23 am

Hi Katie!

Thank you for your video! I love the value you share! And I totally agree with you! Rapport is powerful! And all I can say is if you don’t use it in the right way universe will see it and it will only fall back at you in the end and bite you in the ass…;) Because it is just about becoming more aware and being able to understand all kinds of people! If you do then so many people will be able to work with you cause they feel the connection. So just like you said true rapport is really just about connection. So thank you so much Katie for bringing more awareness to all of us!

Have a great day!:)
Jeanette´s last blog post ..The secret behind a good receiver


Carlos M. September 28, 2010 at 3:12 pm

this is grear, I appreciate you insights
Carlos M.´s last blog post ..Demi Lovato Tells Americas Next Top Models She Was Bullied


Kim September 28, 2010 at 6:24 pm

As a reader, learning new things is really nice. Great info
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Bud Corwin October 5, 2010 at 10:23 am

Hey Katie,
This is fabulous content. You really do know how to get your point across. As always, I look forward to your next video. Keep up the good work.


MeDz October 5, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Hey Katie!

Very nice video and topic u tackled. You were definitely right about this. In order to have great rapport, one person really needs to have that “connection” with the other person. This can can be done e r”meeting the person halfway”. It can be very easy if both of you can find a common topic to talk about to star the rapport. Again thank you Katie for sharing to everyone this valuable information. =)



Mike Watts October 9, 2010 at 1:43 pm


Thanks for the info about the simple NLP technique about matching and mirroring. One thing is to be careful about over doing the matching and mirroring because we don’t want people to get all freaked out. I have had this happen before and it is pretty interesting.

Always have great knowledge.

Thanks again

Mike Watts
Mike Watts´s last blog post ..How To Create A Facebook Fan Page


Scott Zlateff October 28, 2010 at 5:10 pm

Great video Katie as always. What you’re saying really rings true and I have experienced that many times. Keep up the great content. – Scott Zlateff
Scott Zlateff´s last blog post ..Are You the Problem or the Solution in Your MLM Business


Elena J Forbes October 30, 2010 at 10:39 am

This is great Katie! Rapport with anyone from a a day-to-day relationship to key business dealings is the very critical ingredient into the change of success with that individual. We need to be able to establish rapport immedaitely and also recognize when it is NOT established, so that we can effectively manage our resources (time/funds) that foster favorable results.

Thank you for sharing Katie…

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Henway November 6, 2010 at 6:58 pm

I think NLP has a lot of useful techniques for building rapport. I remembered reading about mimicking body movements, and tone of voice, which I did in a recent job interview. I then got the job, and one of the things they told me that I was excellent at building rapport with them
Henway´s last blog post ..My Colon Cleanse Experience


Loren Cole November 13, 2010 at 11:30 am

Hi Katie,
Thanks for sharing this with me. I have been given a lot from you with the videos so far. I’m working on getting startup funding for my business as I need this to begin implementing what I am learning from you and Jonathan Budd and to get additional education. Thanks for reminding me how vital it is to connect with others and build rapport with them.


Curt Bizelli December 30, 2010 at 12:42 pm

This is nothing new to me, but its still a great technique as is with anything “natural” … Matching and Mirroring is part of human nature and its connected to sixth sense! If you’re aware, you can use it to your advantage. Sometimes its not that you are “in rapport” with someone that you notice; sometimes its the complete opposite. If you feel uncomfortable; this is a huge sign that you’re not in rapport. Being in rapport all starts with finding that common ground with that person in which you’re comfortable with and watering it! 😉
Great Post! God Bless!
Curt :-)
Curt Bizelli´s last blog post ..The Power of Syndication! How To Receive More Traffic- Comments and Sharing on-of your Blog!


Jean March 10, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Hi Katie,
Thanks for another very valuable video content. I have heard of it before but have never consciously used it. Thanks for the reminder and I am inspired to begin observing and using it to create rapport in my interactions.


Sue Paananen March 19, 2011 at 12:47 am

Nice, easy to understand description of this aspect of NLP. Thanks Katie!
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Pete Sapper May 1, 2011 at 4:08 am

Learning NLP has been a game changer for me both in life and in my coaching business. Great simple technique, Katie.


MIke June 8, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Rapport is power. Now that is profound. Well done.


hanyhussain June 10, 2011 at 5:35 am

wow katie …

thank you for these powerful information … you are the best ..
beautiful and smart :)
where i can join you to learn more about this ????
thanks …

hany hussain
hanyhussain´s last blog post ..Building A Computer Introduction


Randy December 8, 2011 at 10:03 am

Wow, you are right on!

Don’t forget about the three representational system’s people use to speak. If you simply feed back those same type of words to them, your ability of establishing rapport will greatly increase and the amount of time required will be reduced.



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