Letting Go Of Expectations…

April 9, 2009

Life is pretty crazy sometimes. I have to say, the most transformative lesson I think I’ve ever had to learn is to let go of any expectations… To let go of my personal demands on the moment.

This is a hard lesson for many of us to learn, especially when it comes to business. We are so used to dreaming, fantasizing, and planning how things SHOULD be…  When in reality, we have no clue how things will work out.  No clue whatsoever. And from my experience, if I ever have any expectations for something, it usually never works out the way I expect… Ever.

Now, expectations are very different from goals. Goals are necessary to have when building a business because they set your intentions and keep you on track to accomplish what you’re looking to do.

Expectations are when we expect something to work out the way we WANT it to. When we have these expectations, we almost always set ourselves up for disappointment because we become rigid in our acceptance of the end result.  If it doesn’t work out exactly how we expect it to, we become disappointed, angry, sad, or discouraged…

Let me give you an example… Let’s say you’re in the network marketing industry and you bring someone into your business who is a so-called ‘superstar’ when it comes to network marketing.

You automatically have expectations of what this person is going to do. You start counting all the money you plan on making and thoroughly expect this person to make you rich.  Then let’s say he or she never does a darn thing. You’ve completely set yourself up.  You’ve set yourself up for disappointment and your emotions are going to interfere with your ability to continue doing business.  But if you never expected anything from this person to begin with, you would never have been so disappointed.

This is a principle you can apply to any area of business, and even life in general.

It’s kinda similar to relationships, too. When you expect your partner to be a certain way or expect something out of your relationship, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment because things NEVER usually work out the way we expect.

But if we just LET GO of all expectations and let go of every demand we have on life… We give ourselves room to receive the true gifts that are already present.  Expectations usually block us from seeing the truth in each moment. When we make demands, whether in business or in life, we are not OPEN to accepting what IS.

Accepting what IS in each and every moment is where true freedom lies. We never know what life has in store for us and when we let go of demands and expectations, we will see the natural FLOW of life.

This person that never did anything in your network marketing company could turn out to be a lifelong friend… Or maybe even someone you will partner up with later down the road… You never know why things happen the way they do.

But they happen for a darn good reason!

Whenever I expect something to work out a certain way, it NEVER does… But in the end, I always end up seeing WHY things happened the way they did and it always seems to work out for the best.

One of my favorite sayings is that ‘Life is always rigged in your favor’…

Keep your dreams, keep your goals, but just be open to whatever the outcome may be. And we can only be open when we’ve let go of demands and expectations.  And let me just say, from personal experience, when you do actually ‘let go’ of your expectations, you will see just how liberating that really is.

To let go of your personal demands and expectations means that you put your trust in life… You learn to trust the flow.

Hope you enjoyed this post today! Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below:

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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Charles April 11, 2009 at 11:53 pm

I concur on all points.
What an excellent “blog”!
It rings true with a wisdom and discernment that is rare.
Thank You for a great affirmation of what i have also learned is TRUE.
a recurring theme in my life that you just affirmed…beautifully.

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Roberto April 23, 2009 at 6:58 pm

Beautiful words of wisdom, indeed … thanks Katie

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goomaMari April 26, 2009 at 7:33 pm

cool sitename man)))
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Keion Boyde May 10, 2009 at 5:53 am

This is a timeless blog that I believe will affect many lifes from generations to come. It’s not just what you said but it’s how you said it. Very wise and great growth. I’m pressing forward now to accomplish the same internal success that you have. Great Job katie!!!!

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kassi May 26, 2009 at 6:09 pm

I am new to online marketing came across you and I have to say you are pretty inspiring I have always loved personal development and now I love that I can do marketing and personal stuff all together! I will keep following you!

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Shobha Rani Bantula May 27, 2009 at 6:22 pm

Excellent thoughts! you keep rocking

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Omar Briones June 9, 2009 at 1:18 am

A very true principle everyone must understand if they
want to live their lives to it’s fullest potential.

I am a believer in this myself, because everytime I
expected something, it never happened.

Powerful words Katie!

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Ciprian Bud June 12, 2009 at 10:59 pm

Hy Katie!
Another great post.It’s so darn true what you say in here.:).Keep up the good work!!
Wish you all the best!!!

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Alexandra Pierre June 19, 2009 at 12:43 am

Great post Katie. You are so right because I used to be one that expected so much until i realized how that killed my motivation in business because i was being discourage. I had to let go of that mindset and just let things flow.

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Alex June 25, 2009 at 5:36 am

Hmm, this is interesting. I never saw the expectation itself as a negative influence. If anybody’s seen the film ‘Sunset Boulevard’ (If you haven’t, watch it), it’s the gap in expectation that drives the aging actress to her demise. She expects a fantasy in the ‘American Dream’ style, and when truth slaps her in the face, she falls into the widened gap between her expectations and reality. It’s coming to terms with reality when an expectation is irrational — that is where the problem arises. For most people, success is based on how they deal with failed expectations. True, a failed expectation can be greatly disheartening, but to abandon all expectations, to simply let go? I think that may be going a little too far. After all, isn’t love played out the same way as expectations? You’re just “setting yourself up for dissappointment”, as you said, but its the noble courage that drives the act of love, or of expectation, and the high reward of a successful love or expectation that motivate that courage. Isn’t there a certain value in having expectations, the same way that there is a value in loving somebody and opening yourself to harm?

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+Baker July 9, 2009 at 8:37 pm

Excellent post. This is one of the laws of success, described in a book that I currently finished reading entitled The Seven Spirtual Laws of Success written By Deepak Chopra. He calls this the law of detachment. :)
.-= +Baker´s last blog ..Go Completely Opposite of Society and Win In Life =-.

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Marc July 16, 2009 at 3:06 am

I disagree on this one, what works best for me is simply:
High expectations and low attachment

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sanjay sharma August 29, 2009 at 10:28 am

there is saying that if you expect the best than you find the best. and you are saying that i let go of the expectation. can you clarify it. if i does not expect good from the life, from the business and from the relationship than how can i find the good. it is my expectation which keep myself focus on good and it is clear in life that whatever you focus on you will find in life.

so can you tell me that if i donot expect anything from the relationship than how can a relationship flourished. how can we judge that keep the relationship with this person is good for us or not if we have no expectation.

donot write for the sake of write. provide the example which show that it is practical.

sanjay sharma, india

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Jason September 21, 2009 at 7:28 am

Think of everything you do, every action you take, as a science experiment. In science, you hypothesize what the result will be (your expectation), then you create and perform a test (take action) to see if your hypothesis holds true. Based on the results, you know whether your hypothesis was correct or not. Your expectations really don’t matter except on an emotional level.

One thing I always harp on is that you cannot fight with reality. Things are what they are. You can take an action, but you can’t always guarantee the outcome. The only thing you can do is stack the advantages in your favor. Think through the outcome you want, educate yourself, create a plan, and be ready to adjust your plan if it doesn’t work the first time.
.-= Jason´s last blog ..The Myth of Free Leads Using Social Media =-.

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Kimberly Castleberry January 17, 2010 at 9:25 pm

I love the “life is always rigged in your favor” quote. What a great way to reframe current situations and force us to look at it from the right angle.

Creating expectations of HOW outcomes will occur is not living in the moment. I don’t think that final outcomes/results are bad things to reach for, but when we get too attached to the steps in getting there, we often find that’s just not how the steps in this dance go! Sometimes, you have to dance with your heart, not your feet!
.-= Kimberly Castleberry´s last blog ..Wordpress Plugin Review: KeywordLuv =-.

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Shannon Tecson March 7, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Aloha Katie:
Letting go of expectations IS a day to day, moment to moment process for me still. I would love to say it’s easy but the truth is, it’s not. However, it takes for me conscious daily reminders to let go of expectations and surrender control of my own thoughts towards people and experiences.
Awesome Post Katie!

Love you much,
Shannon
.-= Shannon Tecson´s last blog ..Amongst Other Gifts You Can Gain Through A Home Based Business =-.

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Maggie April 30, 2010 at 6:40 am

I agree with this in theory.
But practicing – actually letting go – of expectations is really quite difficult.

We by nature have our agendas… what we want to have happen all the time.

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Jennifer May July 12, 2010 at 11:26 pm

Personal Expectations of myself and those around me is definitely an obstacle I have had to overcome. I am still learning this. I always have very high expectations for myself. It is a bit of a curse because I get frustrated when things don’t end up that way. Then once that happens that is when things start slipping.

I will be honest. My business started off wonderful two and half years ago. I was a Top Recruiter for the entire first two years of my business. But I was not where I wanted to be when I reached those two years. My “Expectations” for what my income, achievements, etc. were just not up to par in my eyes. It built a HUGE WALL that is taking me a lot to knock down!

BUT.. this is where I want to point out that you are so very right in every word of this post. As I was reading it… I was like DUH! How did I not realize this before! What I truly want to say is that…

I am SO THANKFUL for these expectations not being reached. Because if they were I might have not found all this AMAZING knowledge, training and resources to help me move forward! I truly feel so blessed to have found you all as it is what I needed to move forward! And again if I had reached my expectations then hey, I wouldn’t be here. And I LOVE being here and now!

I will work on this part of me day in and day out. It will take time but definitely will make it a priority! Thanks for the inspiration and knowledge.. you are always awesome! HUGS!
.-= Jennifer May´s last blog ..My Top 5 Tips On Overcoming Any Fear How I Overcame My Own Fear Of Video Marketing =-.

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Carlos M. September 28, 2010 at 1:35 pm

this is great I keep learning from you
Carlos M.´s last blog post ..Demi Lovato Tells Americas Next Top Models She Was Bullied

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Luis September 28, 2010 at 1:42 pm

I wish it was so easy to let go the expectations
Luis´s last blog post ..1200 Calorie Diet and Meal Plan for Weight Loss

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